Many people have experienced a crisis in their lives and there are yet, untold others that will in the future. How do people respond to something that jolts their world? In particular, how do people respond to loss – expected or unexpected? How long is true grief supposed to last? Dr. Richard Dobbins stated, “Grief is God’s way of healing the hurting. There is no such thing as painless grief, and there is no easy way of dealing with grief”. Elizabeth Kubler Ross, the pioneer in grief counseling identified the five stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. No matter what we are grieving; a spouse’s death, a divorce, a child leaving (by health or death), abuse, a job loss, moving from one area to another, or a financial loss, the hurt brings instability into a person’s life – everything seems off balance! The more severe the loss, the more a person’s customary resources usually do not work.
One thing is certain, we must work through each stage of grief to gain insight and guidance for coming to terms with personal trauma and change in order to adjust and cope with life once more. Accepting the loss, absorbing the pain, abstaining from bitterness, abiding in peace, and adjusting to the future are the five steps that Dr. Dobbins mentions on his website.
Please go to this site for more information in how to maneuver through these steps. As far as timely grieving….this depends on the event, the person who experiences the loss, whether it is a good loss (promotion and relocation) or traumatic event. At the very least, it usually takes a person 18 months to readjust and this is when the person has embraced the loss and has been active in their grief work. Many people experience grief for a much longer time. As for helping those in the grieving process, be supportive and sensitive to their work. Do not be as Job’s Comforters.